Caldara reflects honestly on time at Milan: “Biggest regret of my life”

Former AC Milan defender Mattia Caldara has reflected honestly on his long and unsuccessful spell with the Rossoneri that finally came to an end this summer.

Speaking during an interview with Corriere della Sera (via Calciomercato.com), the Italian defender appeared excited about a new chapter of his career in Serie B with Modena where he can finally play regular football and work on his fitness.

Caldara has had horrendous luck with injuries during his Milan career and he actually described joining the Rossoneri as the biggest regret of his life, whilst also explaining the cruel timeline of his serious injuries.

“The biggest regret in life. I came from Juventus with [Gonzalo] Higuain, in two years at Atalanta I had scored 10 goals while making my debut in the national team. The club made us go up on the terrace of Piazza Duomo in front of the fans. How embarrassing, already doing interviews is hard for me. During a training run I blew my Achilles tendon. The surgeon sees that it is still 10% attached, he doesn’t operate. I stay at home in a plaster cast for 50 days. I return to the field, [Mateo] Musacchio is suspended. Finally, it’s my moment, I say to myself. Two days before the match in a clash with [Fabio] Borini I broke my cruciate,” Caldara explained.

Predictably, Caldara was asked if he ever thought about retiring whilst he was stuck on the sidelines at Milanello or on his various unsuccessful loan spells. He revealed that he never struggled too much with his mental health thanks to those close to him.

“Half the time yes, I saw my career almost over. When everyone tells you you’re finished, you convince yourself it’s true. I realised that I shouldn’t push myself, there were certain levels I would never reach again. I had to fight to at least return to playing football. In the end I thanked the doctors. They were the first to feel bad when I couldn’t recover. The coach would put pressure on me: ‘But why aren’t you ready yet?’ I never suffered from depression. I was saved by my family, my parents and Antonio, the mental coach who helped me during the year in La Spezia,” he said.

The most important person for Caldara was certainly his wife, who he says was even stronger than him during the darkest times.

“My wife was very close to me, especially during injuries. I was no longer the same person and she suffered for me. Did I fear losing her? I never asked myself that question, not that I take it for granted. She was stronger than me, urging me to examine my conscience. ‘You have to understand what is wrong with you, you have to start from there’. She was the real source of energy,” he said.

Caldara is now playing for Modena in Serie B and he explained how he feels like a child enjoying the sport again.

“I have rediscovered the joy of playing. I am a child again, I appreciate not feeling pain, the tension of the pre-match, even the hard work of the training camp that I had not done for years. Andrea Catellani, the sporting director, called me every day. In Milan with the managing director Matteo Rivetti I cleared up all my doubts. Mister Bisoli then made me savour again the taste of playing football, reminding me of Dad,” Caldara explained.